Writing about Life in the digital age

It’s helpful to be honest about why you’re reaching out (for example, you’re going through a job search or moving to a new city). It can combat nerves and help the process feel more genuine. In other words, it instantly solves two core issues many people stress about when told to network.

That said, as with anything else, you know there’s a difference between being straightforward and being overly blunt. For example, you know to write, "I was thinking of approaching the project from a different angle" over "I hate all of your ideas."

Aspiring to find this balance, many people begin networking emails with "Remember me?" or even, "You probably don’t remember me..." After all, why not begin with an honest admission so the other person knows you aren’t being fake? Well, unfortunately, this approach often backfires. While you’re coming from a sincere place, it’s pretty audacious to ask for something from someone whom you’re blatantly admitting you barely know.

Many years ago, I applied for a promotion I desperately wanted. At the time, I was the highest performer in the department and so everyone, including me, unwisely expected the big fancy job to be mine. It wasn't. Despite going for three interviews and enduring one of those excruciating psychometric tests, I was duly informed my application had been unsuccessful. What was most intriguing, however, was the reason the executive gave for rejecting me:

"James," she said, "you need to realise that sometimes it's not how well you perform a job that matters; it's how well you understand office politics." She then proceeded to write down the name of a book on the topic, which I was required to obediently read before applying again in the future.